As someone who has experienced searching for a job for 2 years, that shit sucks. As someone who is disabled, there's just so many obstacles just so you can live properly. It's depressing, thankfully I finally got a job. Perhaps you could start a small business. I have had suicidal thoughts over the lack of job.
I hope you can get through it
MahalK
Never stop trying, mate. It sucks that you have to go through all of that crap, but don't stop. You will get through this. You will eventually make a break through and have the good times and blessings that you definitely deserve. Moments and even almost all the time things are telling you to go fuck yourself, but no. You can tell them that they can go fuck themselves since you will get through this shit. When it get's too much to bear, take a break, but don't straight up give up. Persevere for the future that you want and you will definitely get, man. You've already been through so much, you can't give up now. Also, you definitely don't have to take on all the hardships and stress alone. If you ever need someone to talk with to just let stuff out of your head, go for it. Here for you. It's not much, but here for you if you need a listener. You're 10/10, man.