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OneGrumpyLumpy
Creator of Bury Everyone (Death Clown). Enjoyer of Deadman Wonderland.

Anglerfish Enthusiast @OneGrumpyLumpy

Age 24

Melbourne, Australia

Joined on 12/2/18

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Losing the spark

Posted by OneGrumpyLumpy - March 19th, 2023


This year so far has been one of the worst for me in terms of art. As I write this, I'm 4 months into a cycle of dissatisfaction and burnout with no end in sight. I'm extremely disappointed in myself for the weak turnout so far and I'm sorry.

I'm trying everything I can think of. Nothing looks right. I don't even know what direction I want to take with my style in anymore. The whole point of the change was to speed up my rendering for future DC chapters but I can't practice rendering when I can't even finish a draft. Nothing is going well.


On top of everthing else I've been breaking down every few weeks since December. It's not helping things. My chest hurts. Even the most minor inconveniences have sent me into fits of screaming these last few days. At this point I'm seriously considering the psych ward but I don't want to lose my job.


I'm also back on twitter because I don't know what I'm doing. Let's see how long that lasts I guess. Fuck this.


13

Comments

I'm so sorry to hear that man! It's hard to get your ideas on paper and it doesn't turn out the way you want it. I would imagine it's worse because of the chest pains. Was there any art that you felt most dissatisfied with? I guess I'm wondering what your initial idea was for your drawings vs what the finished product looks like. Regardless, I think your art this year looks really good. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. From one artist to another, let me tell you, it's no small task to draft something, and take it all the way to the finish line, making art is extremely hard. About two years ago, I felt the same way and began to lose my cool at the smallest things. It took me a while, but I finally decide to seek therapy; thankfully, it helped. Long story short, if you're suffering, please seek help. Artists tend to be roughest on themselves. I'm also a little confused about what you're dissatisfied with; we've seen you're work and it looks great! I hope you feel well soon.

My creativity's more directed towards writing over on AO3 than doing art, but I've had rough slumps before. In my case at least, creativity feels like the one thing I still have control over- at least I'm SUPPOSED to have control over it. So even if I'm having health problems, or work's kicking my ass, or both at once, not writing more means there's something wrong with me. It doesn't matter if I'm tired or too anxious to focus, if I don't sit down and write 10+ pages, I feel like a lazy bastard.

Over time I've learned, at least a little bit, that you've got to step away from things on occasion. The difference between art and food is people can sate themselves with cheap food, but when it comes to art they're there for the quality, or more accurately the spirit. The vibes. I'm sure just about everyone here would support you if you decided to go dark and take a break, focus on yourself for a bit so you can come back with new and genuine vigor. Don't let a beloved hobby turn into a source of stress and dread. That'll just make things so much worse, trust me.

Hoping the best for you man, please take care.

Sorry to hear that you're in a rough spot right now. To be honest, I really don't think twitter is going to help. Even though I'm sure others might be happy to follow there and show support, I still consider it a risk. (They design algorithms now to shove more bad/controversial news in your face, just to hold your attention for longer. Yes, just for that. They don't care if it impacts mental health.) I suggest caution, I advise ignoring bad news by muting/blocking things, and I hope you can get out of this soon.

I don't know any better way to say this. Take a hiatus break, look up how to treat "chest pains", and don't scream out of frustration, it's almost as bad as self-inflicting yourself with pain. I've done it before, it doesn't make the negative feelings go away immediately. Cut back from Twitter browsing if possible, I doubt anything there will make you feel better, especially other artwork or short animations. If not, I think there are some twitter browsing advice in the other comments below. I have an idea that I want to draw out but because of college (just from 2 ONLINE COURSES) is filling up my schedule most of the day, but I still need to find time to do some exercise, fitness, or move my body around. Even playing a game for a few minutes could jeopardize my college portfolio plans, mostly because I have bad time management.

Find a side hobby that's worth your time, no matter how short or long: read classic literature stories, plant new plants, practice simple existing cooking recipes, or heck maybe free-paint? Find something that doesn't give you too much adrenaline or stress, just something to wind back and gives you time to breathe now and then.

Try a therapist. Just having someone to talk to can help a lot.

I have been seeing one, yeah

Well, I just want to say, for the record, I absolutely love your art style the way it is. You’ve improved so much so fast since I first saw your stuff on twitter. I understand that most of the time we are pressured into feeling like we always need to be improving but that’s not really true. Sometimes it’s good to stop trying to get better and just focus on where you’re at. Your art style is amazing and you’re a really good artist. It’s probably not a bad idea to take a break, but if you’re worried about the direction of your art style I don’t think you need to worry about it. You’re already at a good place.